I don't like loneliness

I have been suffering from this for years now. It's tough when as such, my character is not a loner. I like having people around me. I like being in contact with people all the time. Friends, I have so many. the closest sometimes look like they're suffocated, some seems to avoid, but it could only be my imagination and my feelings.

I'm always excited when there's happy news. I have to stay sober and calm next time. I must change. I think adults keep things to themselves and not always share it with their friends. Adults also have to always be selfish.

I sometimes feel so left out and so out of place. I know it's me, and it's not the people around me. Like always, there's only me to be blamed.