Missing....

Every month, when my hormone starts to act up (it gets worse after i turned 40-or was it because the love of my life is away??) i get weepy. I cry for many reasons.

Tonight it's all about missing someone.

AYAH:  how I wish he is still around. but if he is still around, I don't think I'd be as independent and as strong as I am right now. Allah has planned everything for a reason. I so miss him. I still cry like a baby sometimes wanting him to be by my side and protecting me once again. I feel very low and weak right now. I have no one I can run to and cry for help. My mother is there to support me emotionally. Alhamdulillah. Al-Fatihah to my beloved Ayah.

JUHA:  I miss his presence. Him being around give me some kind of strength when my heart is torn. He has a calming way to make me think sensibly. I pray that everything from now on will be much easier for us both. It has been challenging for the last 3 years, but we know our love is pure.

Blog vs social network

For the past years, social network influence has been very strong. People sometimes go through life thinking "hey! This will make a good status update!" Or "I want to share this picture with my network". I think the touch in writing will be lost and it cultivates the habit to blurt out and sometimes unnecessarily. I for sure have an issue with that. I shall be more careful now in preparing for my next life.
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The power of Attraction

This is what I want to see myself doing real soon. With my own!!!
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I need money!!!

Business has been so slow lately. I have been struggling. I have lots of debt on my back. If I start listing, I may just puke. If I start to do my accounts, I may get diarrhea.

Every month, it's just about making ends meet.

I can't even remember how it feels like to go shopping for myself.

I keep getting myself in trouble by making plans that needs money. For the next few months, I have to stop tennis, stop eating out or meeting friends outside unnecessarily.

I just have to make this work. Somehow.
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Right now..

A lot of nice things happened between the roller coaster ride to now. The battle isn't over yet, but the road looks better paved ahead.
I have had the opportunity to travel to a few places. Every trip was a journey of life for me. I call them 'ME' time. I call them opportunity of a lifetime. I call them a way god wants to show me what the struggle is all about.
I would like to start a travelling blog soon, so that I can type in how I feel during my travels.

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