My feelings now is better than the past weeks. Reading the book called THE SECRET also helps. It has somehow calm me down. Praying and zikir strengthens my inner spirit and I am better at coping.
I have been crying everytime I think about all the children not having a place to receive their medals and no classroom to continue their studies.
Recently, Inesh ordered a glass trophy for this year's award. It kinda tickled me because, that's how my students have been with me. They are just comfortable enough to tell me what would make them happy.
I thank Allah for this journey as it has definitely changed me as a person.

Spoke to Ms Y and she sounded happy. Mission accomplished. Personally, I think she did well. Alhamdulillah! Now, waiting for the result, and I should continue my zikir.

Today was quite peaceful at the centre. I don't feel very nervous about the future for some reason when I was in the class just now. I keep thinking of Ms M calling me to tell me the wonderful news. I should just rest and relax for a bit right now till Tuesday. I don't think they can come up with the result by tomorrow anyway.
Tried to call Ms Y, the candidate who was interviewed today, but she didn't pick up. I just wanted to hear her experience and maybe evaluate from there.

My candidate to take over should now be interviewed by Ms M and a few more staff. I have been reading the zikir in my heart, praying that everything will be smooth and accepted by them. There us no reason why they would not accept Ms Y as my successor.
By Tuesday afternoon, Ms M will call to tell me that everything is fine and my candidate has been accepted and they will start training her immediately.

From THE SECRET:

If you are complaining, the law of attraction will powerfully bring into your life more situations for you to complain about. If you are listening to someone else complain and focusing on that, symphatizing with them, agreeing with them, in that moment, you are attracting more situations to yourself to complain about.

I must only be positive from now on.

I am coming out of all these difficult time I'm facing as a winner. My students will still have a centre to go to after June. The office is going to be so sorry that they're not grateful to instructors who only know love and passion in doing their role.

Tomorrow, my candidate will mesmerize them with her similarity in attitude and character and will be chosen to continue my battle.

Will keep praying!!!!

The National Conference weekend was a challenging one. It gave me some kind of mixed feelings. Good and bad.

I managed to secure a meeting with the Big Boss and 2 other staff. I managed to say out all the things that's been bothering me and things that needed clarification. Mr O whom I had admired so much before turned out to be a "dodo" after all. From the meeting, I can gather that he just can't make a concrete decision. The way he explained things, how to value a centre, how much value I should put on the business.....seems that to him instructors are not important anymore.  What he preaches during the National Conference.....I think he himself felt guilty about it. At the end of the conference, he even looked nervous and could not see eye to eye with me. I just hope it's nothing else that he's hiding cos if he is, he's wasting a lot of people's time.

At this point, I just pray and hope that everyone is working sincerely. We're putting around 230 students future at stake. I hope they realize it.

My battle is not over. They have agreed to have an orientation for my candidates this Thursday. Even though my previous candidates pulled out yesterday, I still have some hope for new ones. I'm meeting the new one tomorrow. Please please please....make this work.

Keep going girl!!!

I have things in place at the moment. Debt paid and a prospect in hand. Just need a green light from the head office to start the ball rolling. The wait is excruciating. We're having a National Conference this weekend and I imagine everyone at the office is running around like a headless chicken.

i'll give a few more days. While I do that, I should just let my hair down and enjoy the conference. like I always have for the past years. My good friend Jennifer will be getting a room at the hotel as she's going to be one of the presenter. We're going to fully utilize the facilities. That'll be a good break.

Proud?

Not until last Friday that I realised that I should be proud of myself. My boyfriend,  told me that I should be and  that he is very proud of the things that I have done.

I told him I don't feel proud of myself, not even look up to myself for what I've done for the last 13 yrs as I have always associate success with money. I have not really felt all that rich. I can only feel so much struggle on my part.

I see people around me being successful when they get to buy things they like and spend money without thinking.

Juha  made sense when he said that success can also means that you have done what you've decided to do. Thinking back, when setting up a centre, I aimed to contribute to the society and that's what I've done. I've taught thousands of children. I've touched so many little hearts and I know I've also made a lot of sense to parents who have had the chance to make contact with me.

I should cherish all that and feel very proud that I have done all that single handedly.

A pat on my back!!!!

It's not that easy...

I gave my letter of intention in February and received a letter of acceptance by the office at the end of March.That was after 2 meetings with the office. They only dared to accept when they rejected my candidate.

It was torturous when I was given a dateline to first find someone that they will also agree to, and secondly to settle off my debt that was mounting.

Things were not going anywhere for 2 weeks and I almost had a nervous breakdown thinking about it. I was threatened to close if nothing happens by 30th June.

As to date, I managed to get an interested group of people to consider and slowly paying off my debt after being helped by our investor. It is good and bad, because that means I owe the investor more money now but at least it will get the head office to start the ball rolling. They refused to help at all if I don't pay off my debt.

I'm trying to keep my head up and do as much as I can till end of June. I will need to keep praying that everything will turn out well. I have to make it turn out well because I'm only thinking about my students.

Please Allah make this easier for me and my students.  Amin.